Time

Time. That is the nub! Here lies the rub. Too much time. Time is always on my mind. Time. Two long long years. No end in sight, increases the fears. Milestones come and go. Time is always on my mind. Time. The great healer? Yes. In some respects, I guess. I no longer love him,…

4 AM

I can’t sleep. I’m sat in the dark. Drinking tea. Mind racing. Heart racing. Writing. The doctor prescribed beta blockers to help ease the panic attacks… I am scared to try them. I have sleeping pills too… I am scared to try them. I do not want to have rely on medicine to get me…

So What

Another fucking wedding anniversary. 23 years today. I was so sure last year would be the last. So sure. I never imagined the divorce would drag on and on like it is doing. It is scandalous that the legal process is so slow and costs so much. Ridiculous! Unlike last year, where I still felt…

Her Life…

…wasn’t meant to be like this, Trapped in the abyss! She tried to power through, Create life anew, For so long, too long, Now she’s disappeared; gone. Stress is the victor, Well and truly kicked her. It’s claiming its toll: She’s shattered, no longer whole. Vulnerable, scared, fearful, Confused, overwhelmed, tearful.  

Hero

I’m trying to find the hero in me. Trying to be strong. Trying to be brave. Trying to hold it together. Trying to float. But it is not working. I’m sinking. Lower than I’ve sank before. The hero has gone. All that is left is a scared, vulnerable, confused, emotional wreck. I am worried this…