Living with…


The unruly brutal beast.

All consuming.

Transforms tiny, insignificant, occurances into world-ending insurmountable stumbling blocks. 

Churns your stomach into knots and casts its dark cloud over your mind.

Sleep becomes your enemy. There is no respite or release. You never feel at peace.

Makes you question yourself, mercilessly and renders you incapable of seeing anything other than the worse possible scenario. 

Short-circuits rationality.  It tells you you’re worthless. That you’ve fucked up. That you can’t cope.

It isolates you: makes you feel you’re alone. Like there’s no one who could ever understand or help.

I fucking HATE anxiety. 

3 thoughts on “Living with…

  1. I don’t know what to do/say to help here SS. I hope you can get some help putting these demons to bed. You are definitely not worthless. I know that from your postings. You deserve so much more. ‘You is kind, you is smart, you is important’ (Kathryn Stockett, The Help). Take care of yourself SS xxx

    Liked by 2 people

    • Thank you darling. I’m sure I’ll bounce back. I’ve been fine(ish) for a while. This bout has been building for a few weeks, but has escalated rapidly since last Wednesday. My daughter’s sadness, ending it with AP, and having to prepare documents (and chase down a bloody expensive elusive solicitor) for the impending court hearing have all contributed. Hopefully a few days away will help (we go on Thursday). I need a break is an understatement!
      Appreciate your kind words. Big love xxx

      Liked by 1 person

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