Battle

The other night I was messing around on Facebook… one of my guilty pleasures I haven’t had time for recently. This app popped up… what will be the most important thing to happen to you this month… most people in my news feed were getting ‘you’ll meet a special man’. 

I got the above… you’ll have an important fight.

I know it’s all random. 

Based on algorithms. 

Or purely chance. 

But it’s apt. 

Next week, the court case finally FINALLY kicks off. After months and months of Ex stalling. 

I’ve waited sooooooooo long for this. 

It is just the first hearing. And if it goes all the way, it will not be over until midway next year.

At least it is starting. 

At least now it’s in the hands of the court there’s timescales. 

At least this means it will have to come to end. 

Not soon. 

But the end is in sight.

Waiting – it’s been 17 months since I initiated divorce proceedings and I have had decree nisi for over a year – has been torturous emotionally. 

It’s been expensive too. Nearly £30,000 in savings, gone. 

Trying to get justice. 

Paying for justice. 

And it’ll cost half as much again, if not more (not just legal fees, I’m having to subsidise monthly living costs out of savings too), before it’s finally over. 

Waiting – the protracted nature of all of this has had its positives too, though.

Typical me, always trying to seek for the good in the bad. 

The delay means I’m now mentally ready. Emotionally ready. For the ensuing fight.

When I look back on my posts from a year ago, if not more recent, I was broken by this. 

Fragile. 

Delicate. 

Trying desperately to move on. 

To be strong. 

Yet still bound to my ex. Still grieving. Still in mourning. Still mending my broken heart.

Now, I’m completely absolutely over the fucker. 

I deal with the constant shit from his solicitor – just this morning I received another nine documents to read – without it causing any emotional disturbance (well, that’s not entirely true, I do think wtf and get a bit cross).

I am READY. 

Bring it on mo fo!!!

4 thoughts on “Battle

  1. Yeah baby! That’s the attitude. Sounds like you’re mentally tooled-up (perhaps a flick knife down your boots in case that’s needed). Good luck hun! May it be the beginning of the end xxx

  2. Glad the end is sight (so to speak) I think everything happens for a reason and the delay although annoying is good as it has given you space to grieve and begin to move on. We had to wait 2 years before we could start divorce proceedings which I hated but once the time came I realised it was needed.

    The process was painful but nowhere near as bad as it would have been when it was all still fresh and I still wanted the marriage to work. Now your mentally and emotionally stronger the fuckers can go jump! They better be ready for the Bigger Better Stronger you!

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