Safe (I don’t feel it)

Laying on the living room floor.
In tears. Crying bucket loads.
Listening to music.
Woeful tunes.

But I can’t help it.

Too many martinis… stirred not shaken… 007 Daniel Craig stylie… he’s not bothered if they are shaken or stirred.

Mind racing.
Heart racing.

I don’t feel safe.

An alien concept, I abore.
I spent all my adult life feeling safe and secure.
Not anymore.

Who am I?
What do I want?
What are my hopes and dreams?

It’s been over two years.

What the fuck is up with me?
Why can’t I face reality?

Why can’t I settle, be comfortable with the new normal?

Why am I struggling so?
Unable to fully go.
Walk the path I fear because I don’t know.
What is up with me.
So used to to being we.

I don’t feel safe.

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