It took me ages to believe this was true.
It has taken me ages to learn this is true.
This -for anyone who is just embarking on the journey of divorce – is the light at the end of the dark, shitty, tunnel.
This realisation that it was for the best. That it is the best thing that could have ever happened. That life is so much better now.
It’s three years and four months since my ex dropped the bomb, and nearly a year since our divorce finalised (Decree Absolute was signed on the 10th of April 2018).
It has been a long, hard road. I wish I had blogged more over the past few years, so I had a timeline. So much has happened. So much has changed.
Thankfully, over the last year – the divorce process ending was a real turning point for me, mostly for the good.
My job is going well. I’ve been prompted a couple of times. The salary is smaller than I’m used to but it’s manageable in terms of stress, it works perfectly around my children (I don’t feel like I’m compromising on being a mama) and the people I work with are lovely.
I picked up the keys for my first ever house (that I’d purchased all by myself) on Thursday. It’s going to make a perfect home for me and my babies.
This is the view from my back bedroom.
It’s a tiny place, in comparison to the houses ex and I could afford to buy together, but the location is ace and I’m sure my daughter will love having the park as her ‘back garden’.
Most of all, my children are happy and flourishing.
My sons still don’t have contact with their dad – it’s been nearly two years now – but I’ve learned to live with the sadness.
They are content and that’s what’s important.
My eldest is engaged to be married, embarking on buying his first home (with my help, I am loaning them the deposit as it’s difficult to save one when you’re paying rent), and is enjoying his job.
My second oldest/youngest (he’s the middle so take your pick) turns 18 soon. He’s nearing the end of A’levels and will be going to Uni in Oct. He wants to study medicine and has secured offers from Cambridge and Imperial. I’m so proud of him. Achieving so much despite the challenges we’ve faced at home. He’s says he couldn’t have done it without me. I’m proud of me for being able to support him, even when I felt like my world had ended and I couldn’t carry on.
My girl has transformed. She’s full of joy and laughter. The tears at bed time have stopped. As have the night terrors (although she does still end up in my bed most nights). She is seeing her dad regularly again, every other weekend, and they are building a relationship. I’m so glad for her. She’s a real daddy’s girl. She need him to be there for her.
I’m embracing change. Seeing the positives. Enjoying life as a singleton. Loving being in charge. Being the mistress of my own destiny.
Everything happens for a reason, even if at the time you can’t see it!