Mediate

Mediate. Try not to hate. But… You haven’t spoken to our children for over three months. Rather than talking to them, you’re making them discuss their worries and concerns with a stranger. Because you can’t face the hurt you’ve caused them and continue to cause them.

4 AM

I can’t sleep. I’m sat in the dark. Drinking tea. Mind racing. Heart racing. Writing. The doctor prescribed beta blockers to help ease the panic attacks… I am scared to try them. I have sleeping pills too… I am scared to try them. I do not want to have rely on medicine to get me…

Strong

I’ve had a tough weekend. My daughter is having a slump. She’s always emotional and tearful when she comes home after visiting her dad. It usually takes her a few days to settle again. But this time, she’s not managed to bounce back. The sadness has stayed with her all week. She’s having trouble getting…

Happy Easter! 

The first, in 22 years, without my babies. My eldest is with his partner. My other two are with their dad. Have been since 12.06 on Friday. Will not be home until tomorrow afternoon (time not specified). I’m not sure if it’s a product of my counselling sessions – which I’m loving, so pleased I…

How times change

Today is my eldest child’s birthday. He is two little ducks (or 22 for those not familiar bingo calling number lingo). I have been ill for nearly two weeks now (stress effects strike again me thinks). An ear infection that even antibiotics is not shifting. I am battling on, but I feel and sound shocking.…

Happy Mum’s Day

It’s Mother’s Day today here in the U.K.  My children are excelling themselves. My son’s got up with my daughter so I could have a sleep in. They woke me around 10.30 am, with a fabulous breakfast in bed. They presented me with thoughtful cards, filled with heartfelt sentiments. And bought me lovely gifts: perfume,…

It never ends…

I’ve had a bad night with my youngest.  She was off school yesterday. She came back from her weekend with her father, complaining of tummy ache and saying that her heart hurt. Her symptoms seemed to suggest she had indigestion and heartburn. Her eating habits when she’s with her dad are not what I would…